Facing Your Fears

October is generally thought of as a scary month because it culminates in Halloween. While it's foolish to be frightened of fictitious ghosts and goblins, real concerns exist that can haunt you on a daily basis. Are you scared you'll wind up in a dead-end job? Afraid you won't be able to make ends meet? Frightened you won't be able to sustain college friendships or hold onto your better half? Do you fear the future that awaits you? It's not surprising. Your twenties are a time of great change, uncertainty and upheaval. And no matter how parents and other older folks may scoff and sneer, each one of these fears is wholly legitimate.

For a long while after graduation, I had a bout of what was clearly depression . In a constant state of despair, I felt confused, frequently irritable, by and large emotional, and often just plain alone. I was in an excruciating, unending, soul-sucking funk. The postgraduate blues. A quarterlife crisis.

Over time, I learned the key to coping: not allowing your fear to get the best of you. Easier said than done, of course. Let's examine some of the ways you might quell your quarterlife crisis - keeping in mind, of course, the demand for convenience and affordability!

1.	Support. Surrounding yourself with a network of people who care about you is crucial during every life stage. Make it a priority to keep in contact with friends and family regularly. In today's day and age, there is no excuse not to. Call, write, e-mail, or text message. Nurturing those relationships does a world of good for both parties. And don't be afraid to welcome new friends into your circle. Each relationship you forge offers the potential to help you become a better person.
2.	Hobbies. Your mind can't be dwelling on your troubles if it's busy wandering elsewhere. Read, write, exercise, paint, garden, or carve an intricate jack-o-lantern . . . whatever gets you through the day. When my first job turned out to be less than stellar, I coaxed my roommate to take a hip hop dance class with me at the local YMCA, just for fun. Getting out of the apartment and mixing up my routine really helped me keep a positive attitude about my life and the direction it was headed.
3.	Therapy. The stigma society attaches to people who seek therapy is ridiculous. There is no shame in admitting you need help beyond yourself. Perhaps your employer's health insurance plan includes a plan for mental health care, or even an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) designed specifically for that purpose. Certainly your graduate school offers a counseling center. Maybe you'd like to consult a pastoral counselor at your place of worship. Or look into community programs where student-counselors (with expert supervision) accept new patients at no cost or on a sliding scale. Let someone help you, and by doing so, help yourself.
4.	Escape. Your method of escape matters. Drug and alcohol abuse won't aid in finding solutions to your problems. But indulging in your favorite TV show, creating a fantasy football team or taking a well-deserved vacation might be quick-fixes that are safe enough to merit consideration. Step away from your problems to gain a better perspective. Then return, invigorated, to tackle those problems with finesse.

Going through a quarterlife crisis is a lot like your first childhood visit to a haunted house. Rounding the corners, you probably faced a boogey man or two. It was terrifying. But rather than dwelling on how you nearly wet your pants, you now recollect your brave exit. Sure you might have been prompted along by a candy prize or your mom's reassuring squeeze, but what of it? You completed the course and survived the experience, finding your nerve in the journey.