Memories Etched in Stone

Don Martin (Georgia State) and Chuck Kitchen (Georgia State) were friends long before pledging Sigma Nu in college. In the chapter they grew close with two other brothers: Mims Davis (Georgia State) and Greg Jordan (Georgia State). After graduating in 1973 and ‘74 they were all involved in each others’ weddings and, for a few years after college, managed to maintain a relatively tight bond.

As time passed, however, their contact was reduced to Christmas card updates and calls every year or fifteen months. As they moved further away from each other geographically and started their own families, the couples inadvertently began to drift apart.

It was August of 2003 when Kitchen was diagnosed with advanced-stage colon cancer, and a week later all three brothers had learned about his rapidly-growing illness. It didn’t take long for the three couples to rally around their friend and his wife Julie. All eight of them were reunited in October of 2003 and made a pact to keep in touch via weekly calls and frequent get-togethers. They made plans that fall for the first of what would be four beach weekends together starting in the spring of 2004.

L-R: Mims & Lynn Davis, Greg & Mary Jordan, Don & Debbie Martin, Chuck & Julie Kitchen at their first beach reunion

Martin recalls their first reunion at the beach where they spent four days re-living their college days, reminiscing over photos, annuals and Sigma Nu jerseys and catching up on each others’ lives. Even though many years had passed, he said, "It was like we never missed a day."

That trip they traced the roots of their friendship back to Sigma Nu. Kitchen, Jordan and Martin were pledge brothers. Davis was a year behind them. Their wives were closely connected as well - both Debbie Martin and Lynn Davis were Sigma Nu Sweethearts in 1971 and 1972 respectively. Julie Kitchen and Debbie Martin had been best friends since high school and together joined Alpha Omicron Pi in college.

Reflecting back, Martin explained that Sigma Nu was the foundation that made it so easy to re-connect after so many years. "Without that Sigma Nu bond and the urgency of Chuck’s illness, we might never have tried to put our friendship back together," he said.

As they knew would happen sooner rather than later, on July 7, 2006, Chuck Kitchen entered the chapter eternal. Four weeks prior, the four couples took their final beach trip together. Kitchen didn’t feel well, but he did his best to enjoy their time. "There was never one moment that everyone wasn’t happy and joyous, even though we knew how bad he felt. It was one of the most memorable events we’ve ever had," says Martin. One night at dinner, Kitchen stood up, walked over to Martin and gave him a huge hug saying, "Thank you for helping put us back together."

During his heavy chemo treatments, they called Kitchen every single week. "We made a pact to bombard him with support," explains Martin. The week of Kitchen’s death, all three brothers had the chance to speak with him on the phone. Even now they continue to call weekly to support Julie and make sure she knows that she is not alone.

L-R: Don & Debbie, Mims & Lynn, Julie, Greg & Mary in Lexington

Brick Pathway Memorial

Having lost a dear friend, the brothers wanted to do something special to honor Kitchen. Together they purchased bricks on Sigma Nu’s Pathway of Honor and last October made a pilgrimage to The Rock, Sigma Nu’s Headquarters in Lexington, Virginia, to acknowledge the bond of brotherhood they shared. "It was a very emotional trip. The bricks were already in place when we arrived, and we were able to see where they would remain for generations to come," says Martin. Kitchen’s brick lies at the center of four bricks named for Martin, Jordan, Davis and another brother, Mitchell Brannen (Georgia State). It is flanked by bricks named for Martin and Jordan’s Sigma Nu sons, forming the image of a cross in the Pathway.

Martin admitted that if it had not been for Kitchen’s illness, the group might not have reunited. He regrets that it took something so drastic; however he acknowledges that others can learn from their lost time. "While there is a time for youth, a time for career and a time for rearing children, once that’s done you want to reconnect with the things that mean a lot to you," he explains. "It’s important to make the extra effort not to let those close bonds of brotherhood ever become untied."

Since Chuck’s passing, the group has extended their circle to include over 34 Eta Gamma brothers for a Saturday lunch at Manuel’s Tavern in Atlanta. Old Friendships have been renewed and plans are in place for more Eta Gamma reunions in the future.